we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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