He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize