I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
