Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
