so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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