he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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