GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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