chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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