so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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