he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
