Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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