If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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