we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
