Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
