Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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