I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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