Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The air taste purple.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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