You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
