Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
