A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
