Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize