I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
