**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
