Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize