Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
