ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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