It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
