I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
