Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
