We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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