he thought i was a dude.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
