we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
