I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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