this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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