bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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