The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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