oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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