so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.