i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
