no, he came in my armpit
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life