As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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