I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
