Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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