Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize