All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
