I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
