When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
