Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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