You work out of a Hotel?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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