words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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