FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize