Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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