I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize