I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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