i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
