Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize