Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
