we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
