we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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