Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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