Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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