Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
