so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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