You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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