I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
