until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
