I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
